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If you Google “grumpy old man”, this is the photo that pops up
The year is 2396: Microsoft introduces the latest iteration of "Clippy". Here's "Crabby"!
As a test, AI identifies these two individuals as Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos at the age of 80.
(offscreen) "Dr. Soong, do you like movies about gladiators?"
If you Google “grumpy old man”, this is the photo that pops up
"No, I do NOT look like Boris Johnson!"
Even in the middle of the wilderness, a wireless dead-zone, Amazon advertising will still appear.
Soong is once again reminded of his insecurities by being compared to Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos.
"No, I'm not going to repair your android. You didn't fill in the warranty registration when you acquired the device. So it's not my problem. Good day to you."
Q: "I fail to comprehend your indignation, sir. I've simply made the logical deduction that you are an idiot."
Picard: "He's right, you know. Putz."
Q: "Thank you, Mon Capitaine!"
Picard: "Save it, Q. My hemorrhoids are acting up and I don't need to hear it from you again."
Soong: "... So you two know each other?"
(offscreen) "Make the most of this, it's your last appearance."
As he watches his dreams go up in smoke, Dr. Soong realizes that he will never out do his artificial brother.
Once you are over the hill,
You begin to pick up speed.
Tariffs are so high, some are starting to think they can see them.
Old Man Soong: “Picard, do you realize you are peeing on my leg?”
Picard: “Yes, I do.”
Old Man Soong: “Dammit… Pull up your pants, you look like a friggin’ gang-banger.”
Picard: “I agree, it really makes people look so stupid.”
Old Man Soong: “I was talking to YOU, Picard!”
Going out with a swan Soong?
Yet another Soong with a bruised ego.
Old Man Soong: “Just because I lost the argument doesn’t mean I was wrong.”
Old Man Soong: “I’m already planning on being an a$$hole again tomorrow.”
Old Man Soong: “What the hell’s the matter with those punks with their flat billed baseball caps. That’s just WRONG!”
Picard: “This is MY Soong! There are MANY like it, but THIS one is MINE! My Soong is my best friend!”
Lwaxana is still perusing Picard. Her most recent attempt is quite the ‘surprise.’
“This is a nature preserve, why is there a Starbucks out here?!”
"What's that awful noise?"
"It's the Oasis reunion concert at Heaton Park in Manchester."
(Yes, I'm 3 miles away and I CAN hear them. Unfortunately.)
Things They Never Said #25B: "It was an honour & a privilege to serve with Wesley Crusher."
“Dr. Soong, I know you are very jealous of Data’s popularity, but that is not a very convincing reason to destroy everyone’s future.”
"What's that noise? It sounded like a scream for mercy!"
"It's just Frankie Chestnuts & Chromedome having a 'meeting' with Captain 8472 behind the woodshed."
The look you get when newer generations don’t recognize you.
One does not expect to see their own face on a VD billboard.
Star Trek, the hair loss years.
"I must be old. I've forgotten my lines."
Prince Andrew wasn't expecting to find the paparazzi there.
The Deadly Years
The moment you realize you have gotten old.
Picard: Its minced sheep's pluck encased in sheep's stomach. They call it Haggis.
Steward: Did you know The Final Frontier made more money at the box office than Nemesis did?
Soong: I'm getting the feeling I forgot something.
Picard: You're not wearing pants.
Soong: I think it was important...
Picard: Your moon is on full display!
Soong: Probably nothing. Hey Picard, wanna see me do a cartwheel?
Picard: I'm telling you, the dress has blue and black stripes!
Spiner: “Patrick, I gotta tell you … that boy ain’t right?”
We’ve been talking smack since “The Before Time”, when we could only point and grunt.
Proverbs 16:18:
8472: "Pride goeth before the fall"
Chromedome, is it 8472 talkin’ smack again? How’s about we take him out behind the woodshed and show him what for.
Old actors never die. They just get spin off series.
Despite all they got paid, Brent Spiner and Patrick Stewart have just realized that they cannot afford to retire.
Age,
the final frontier...
To oldly go where no android has gone before.
Relics?
Coming of Age?
"Sorry, we'll have to cut there. My leg bag is full!"
"Can you remember where we parked the starship?"
"Is that Cap'n 8472? By 'eck, I tell 'ee, I bin doin' this compo for near on 20 year and now that young whippersnapper shows up wi' his fancy ideas. T'ain't reet, I reckon an' all."
FrankieChestnuts (foreground) and Chromedome (background) are feeling increasingly insecure by the other captioners gaining ground on their scores.
“Hey you kids… Get off my space time continuum!”
Soong: “Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout, Data?”
"DITL Captioneers? Get lost the lot of you!"
Engage the Zimmer frame! Warp factor SLOW!
This face is the reaction I get when reading political news.
Star Trek: The Geriatric Years

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© Graham & Ian Kennedy Page views : 119,803 Release date : 1 Aug 2025